“I have noticed some side effects from
meditation. I used to drink heavily, now
I don’t. I used to take drugs and smoke,
now I don’t. I used to be prone to
anger, now I am not. My life used to be
full of stress and problems, now I deal
with those problems and keep stress to a minimum.”
I have always known that our physical
presence, as we know it, is not all there is to life.
I lost my father when I was eight years old. This
was my first experience with death and it affected
me very deeply. I had a strong feeling that this
was not the end of our existence and spent the
following years of my life questioning the point
of existence on this Earth if life was meant to last
for such a short period of time.
When I was in my 20s, I realised that there
were too many questions left unanswered by
the religions that I had been brought up with.
I had developed some extremely bad habits by
this time - drinking, smoking and taking pretty
much any drugs that I could lay my hands on.
Somehow though, through my life’s mess, a friend
introduced me to meditation known at that time
as New Age awareness.Almost immediately,
I started to see benefits in my life in ways that
I least expected. The first thing that surprised me
was that although I was using m editation tapes
that lasted for only half an hour,
my meditations seemed to go on a great
deal longer and took about two to three hours. It
was as if time changed when I was in a meditative
state. I also discovered that if I had any questions
and asked it to myself as if I were another person
during meditation, I would always find the correct
answer. Sometimes the correct answer would come
after the initial meditation, during my day-to-day
life. This made my decision-making better and
soon I started to get benefits and improved my
social and work life. I gave up smoking, cut down
on drinking and almost stopped taking drugs. I
went to work in Germany for better income.
A few years before I went to Germany, I
had what I call my first life-changing experience
through meditation and it blew me away! I was
meditating almost daily at this time and on
three separate occasions, I felt the need to stop
my meditations before I considered them to be
complete. This was because I kept coming to a
very deep state and felt that if I were to go on, I
could not control what would happen. On each
of these three occasions, I reached this same point
in my meditation more quickly. And eventually
I decided to step off the cliff, (which was what
it felt like), and went where my meditation took me.
I could still clearly remember what happened
that day, 17 years ago, as if it were yesterday. When
I started my meditation I quickly reached the edge
of the cliff state, and I had to admit that I was very
wary of taking that next step. What happened was
the hardest thing imaginable to put it in words.
I felt like I had stepped off my imaginary cliff,
but instead of falling, I was swept away at an
unimaginable speed. I was surrounded completely
by white spiralling light that moved like the wind
in a tornado. I felt fear and excitement, almost
like as if electricity was coming from the centre
of my body. This beautiful white light carried me
to a place that was equally hard to explain. It was
like an enormous circle of white light and this
time the light was different. It was not swirling
with energy but was radiant and glowing like a
mist over a pond. I felt like I was floating on air
and I had a feeling of immense peace and joy. I
could see myself as a beautiful white spirit and
other similar looking spirits came to greet me.
What surprised me was that I appeared to have a
familiarity with those spirits - we communicated
without words but with feelings. This was a
strange but absolutely unforgettable experience. I
stayed as long as I could in this place but I had to
go back because I was not sure if I had died. This
sounds weird, doesn’t it? Nevertheless, the place I
‘visited’ made me feel at home.
I was so amazed by this experience that I
recorded this significant event and carried the
piece of paper with me all the time for about four
to five years. Unfortunately, my wallet was stolen
together with that piece of paper entitled,
‘TheDay I Danced with Angels’.
I continued to meditate at this time and
although I had a number of wonderful experiences,
I gradually found myself making less time for my
meditations until they faded out. What I did not
realise was that my old habits started to wean
their way back into my life. The following years
became some of the hardest times of my life.
I had taken on a great deal of work and
had stopped guiding my decisions with my
meditations. Eventually the inevitable happened,
one of the companies I worked for forced me into
bankruptcy due to owing me a large amount of
money. As I had always worked very hard and to
a very high standard, I felt that I did not deserve
this. My solicitors attempted to take legal action
against the company but my money ran out
before I could even conclude the case. In the end,
I was left a penniless bankrupt. I started drinking
and smoking heavily again. Soon, stress and
depression returned.
One thing that I was very proud of myself
was the fact that I never had problems getting
work. When I completed school, I took a job
as a carpenter and joiner, and completed a full
apprenticeship. I had never been out of work
and had never found the need to advertise, as
my work was mainly recommended to others
by good referrals. Not only did I work on
carpentry and joinery now, I worked on newly
built houses and extensions and refurbishments
of old buildings as well. I enjoyed my work and
when things were low, my work kept me going
and held me together. In a holistic way, my work
led me to meditation again and I considered this
to be the most fortunate thing that happened in my life.
In July 2005, it was my luck to be introduced
to Phibul Chompolpaisal, who was the secretary
of the Dhammakaya International Society of
United Kingdom (DISUK). He informed me
that my services as a builder could be useful in
the conversion of the Brookwood Chapel into a
Meditation Centre. So, I offered my services and
started work. My work involved staying on the
grounds for five days a week. I found the Thai
Buddhist way of life becoming very attractive to
me during this time. I also felt drawn to find out
more about Buddhism and meditation. I now
regularly enjoy taking part in the ceremonies and
meditation has become part of my everyday life.
I am learning about meditation every day at
the Dhammakaya meditation society in Woking. I
have already stopped smoking and drinking with
ease. I have learned about the five precepts and
now live by these extremely sensible guidelines.
I am using my meditations to make decisions
and come to correct conclusions. I have come to
understand the importance of merit and in 2006,
I have pledged 10 gold Buddha statues to the
Maha Dhammakaya Cetiya in Thailand.
Since meditating the Dhammakaya way
through visualising a crystal ball, I have had two
exceptional meditations. The first was when I
spoke about meditation to a Centre volunteer,
Hui. She has become my true friend. When I was
talking to her one evening after work, we got into a
conversation about meditation and she suggested
that I should try and bring my mind to the centre
of the crystal ball and to keep doing so once I
visualise the crystal ball during my meditation.
The following evening, I attempted to follow
Hui’s instructions. I visualised and focused my
mind on the crystal ball (which always appears to
me with a white glow from the centre).
I found that I could relatively easily centre my focus on
the very centre and draw myself into the crystal
ball. Each time I would spend a moment in the
crystal ball and then visualise another crystal ball
at its centre and draw my mind into the centre
of that; this went on four or five times, each time
taking my meditation into a much deeper level.
I then found myself in the centre of a beautiful
clear crystal with a central core of pure white and
coloured petals radiating out from the central core.
The feeling that I had was of electrical
energy and immense happiness. I became excited
over what I was experiencing and was pulled away
from that place. My excitement had caused me
to lose focus. It had since become clearer to me
that the patterns that many of the Dhammakaya
members wore on their shirts representing the
Dhamma were very similar to what I saw that
night. No drawn or painted masterpiece could
come anywhere close to the beauty of what I saw.
Since then, I tried hard to repeat that experience
many times, but unfortunately sometimes trying
too hard did not yield results.
I often meditate to help with insomnia.
I find that it is an excellent way to stop all the
thoughts that keep spinning around in my head.
My most recent experience occurred shortly
after midnight whereby I had a lot of things
on my mind. I knew that if I did not meditate,
my head would be spinning all night. So, I sat
in the half-lotus position and proceeded to go
relax my eyes, nose and so on until I was focused
on the centre of the crystal ball. I tried not to do anything.
I gradually became aware of the similar
state of being surrounded by light like my first
experience years ago. There were many spirits
or beings present all around me and my form
became clear as crystal. The crystal at the centre
of my form became radiant white and glowed. I
felt energised and cleansed again. I became aware
that my own form was floating inside the form of
a giant crystal body and we were sharing the same
crystal ball at our cores. I spent some time in this
place and as soon as I came out of my meditation
I woke my wife up and told her about
what had happened excitedly.
I don’t know if my meditations could be
interpreted or not, but I just know that when
I had these experiences, they blew me away! I
should say that I have noticed some side effects
from meditation. I used to drink heavily, now
I don’t. I used to take drugs and smoke, now I don’t.
I used to be prone to anger, now I am not.
My life used to be full of stress and problems,
now I deal with those problems and keep stress
to a minimum level. I have true good friends, a
beautiful wife and a wonderful son. My life has
become complete and I am contented.
Before I met the wonderful people at the
Meditation Centre, I firmly feel that my core
belief was peace and this was instilled in me way
before my birth. When my father passed away
I had an unbelievably strong feeling that his
death was not the end. The fact that I discovered
meditation on my own accord and had such deep
experiences all those years ago was a prelude to
what has happened now in my life.
It has been the greatest honour to become involved with
the Dhammakaya meditation society, and my
fondest wish is to continue to do so.
My past was built here and my future will
forever be with meditation.
We Are One With Meditation
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