“My two daughters were born during
my doctoral program and despite the joy
they gave both my wife and I, all parents
know the amount of time and energy
required for child-rearing. Meditation
helped me maintain my patience when
handling the strain of a temper tantrum,
a near sleepless night tending to a sick
child and many other responsibilities
associated with parenthood.”
My introduction to Dhammakaya
meditation began about five years ago when I first
learned about the basic method from a monk at the
Meditation Center of Chicago. I had meditated
many years earlier using Vipassana meditation
(essentially focusing on my breath) and had not
returned to any regular meditation practice until
learning about Dhammakaya meditation.
I did some background reading and directed questions
at various monks and people knowledgeable
about the Dhammakaya method before starting
to practice it regularly. Similar to other people
who had their minds consumed by the vicissitudes
and influences of daily life, it was not easy to
meditate initially. A key element of the Dhammakaya
method was to empty the mind, clear out mental
clutter and let the mind become still.
A mind trained to “multi-task”
(a good description of my mind) needs time
to slow down so that it will not wander from
thought to thought, memory to memory and
worry to worry. I struggled with this mental
wandering (and still do) for many months before
I experienced my first moment of true mental stillness.
That brief moment demonstrated the happiness associated
with a still mind: a sense of being relaxed and at peace
with the world, without feeling the need to escape from
the world. I continued to meditate, although I felt a little
annoyed on some days at my wandering mind.
There were also physical concerns with meditation.
In my initial efforts to meditate,
my legs would go numb and my back would
start to ache. Monks recommended that I
stretch regularly, especially before meditating,
and this helped substantially. I also found I
could greatly reduce my back pain by sitting
with my back against a hard surface and
lodging a small pillow against my lower back.
Once I had addressed my physical discomfort,
my meditation sessions grew longer and
more relaxing. Initially, I did nearly all my meditation
at home. I was fortunate to have the opportunity in
July 2005 to participate in Wat Phra Dhammakaya’s
Dhammadayada International Ordination
program in Thailand.
The monk instructors at the temple focused
heavily on meditation practice, and all participants
in the program meditated for at least four hours per day.
The combination of concentrated meditation,
along with the benefits of having regular access to highly
experienced monks in Dhammakaya meditation,
helped me progress notably.
It felt very good to meditate and sometimes,
I would see a small point or ball of light floating
in front of me, something I had
rarely perceived in my meditation at home.
Eventhe memory of such experiences can help induce
a feeling of contentment and help make future
meditation efforts more fulfilling.
Meditation has had a number of tangible
benefits in my life and my family life. I took
up Dhammakaya meditation while I was in
my doctoral program. Meditation reduced the
intense stress associated with simultaneously
completing my doctoral dissertation, teaching
40-50 undergraduate students, and searching for
a job. It became important to me to find the time
to meditate, typically early in the morning or late
at night. Without meditation, I could have easily
succumbed to the pressure of my responsibilities
as a student and simply given up pursuing the
doctorate, even after investing so much time and
money. Instead, I found that meditation helped
me to concentrate when writing my dissertation.
My teaching improved also, as shown by the
higher scores on teaching evaluations written by
my students.
My two daughters were born during my
doctoral program and despite the joy they
gave both my wife and myself, all parents
know the heavy amount of time and energy
required for child-rearing. Meditation helped me
maintain my patience when handling the strain
of a temper tantrum, a near sleepless night
tending to a sick child and many other responsibilities
associated with parenthood.
Meditation also improved my relationship
with my wife. I would often forget things,
make wrong turns while driving, bump into objects
and commit other errors that frustrated my wife
because they occurred too frequently.
Meditation improved my mental clarity,
reducing the frequency of these blunders.
I also had a tendency to think too much
about myself, focusing on my own problems
and priorities when the concerns needing the most
attention were with my family. Meditation has
made me more aware of what matters most
in life and led me to stop and consider the
consequences of my choices in my studies,
work, and family. In addition to the benefits
of Dhammakaya meditation, various monks
recommended practicing “loving-kindness meditation”.
Lovingkindness meditation involves mentally identifying
and sending good wishes to all fellow human
beings and creatures. When done consistently,
it cultivates a sense of caring and compassion for
one’s living companions on the planet. Lovingkindness
meditation helped shake me out of my
penchant for putting my own needs above those
of others, especially those of my family. Whenever
I meditate now, I devote some time to lovingkindness
meditation as an integral component of
Dhammakaya meditation.
The more I have meditated, the more I
have realized that the human mind is strong
but very susceptible to influences that may
weaken its powers of concentration and clarity.
Dhammakaya meditation helped me see the
value of keeping the mind relatively
free of unnecessary clutter and other things that
may impede this clarity. This is an important reason
why I decided to stop consuming alcohol because
I started to find that even small amounts – say,
one bottle of beer – made my mind fuzzier than
I expected. The alcohol buzz soon lost its attractiveness.
My decision greatly pleased my wife as well and I hope
it will serve as a good example for my children.
Meditation is an activity that everyone in
this world should take part in. It is one of the
few human activities free of any drawbacks. It is
free, relaxing and good for the mind. It promotes
improved behavior and according to an increasing
amount of research, it has medical benefits such
as lowering blood pressure.
Meditation does not need to be a religiously-motivated
activity in order to reap its advantages.
Meditation only requires a commitment of time
and some perseverance. The only case in which
I would question the appropriateness of meditation
is for a person with a serious mental illness or psychosis.
Otherwise, there is every reason to believe
that meditation has substantial potential for
improving the quality of life for all living creatures
by increasing the capacity of human beings to feel
more relaxed, mentally alert, and at peace with
themselves. And if people feel at peace with themselves,
they will feel at peace with the world; something our
planet direly needs.
"We Are One With Meditation."
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